It’s not that I don’t get it, it’s that
I don’t care. I see you calling &
I don’t wanna pick up. You tell me
we won’t be fifteen forever. Rows of girls drinking
ginger ale or water. Picture of me in princess
sleeves in 2005 / still alive /.

If you could take the date stamp off the picture,
put it in a time capsule.
The nail polish, I still have it.
Tori Amos with glitter.
The shade is called “caught a lite sneeze,”
No, “pieces of me you’ve never seen.”

On the Tori Amos Facebook page
saw a post that said, pray for Joni.
I thought (you wrote a spell),
like witches believe in prayer.
Someone wrote, you should especially Tori,
you owe her your whole career.

With friends like these.
End of the world.
Gun that blows out bubbles
instead of bullets.
Timeless toy bringing
timeless groovy kinda joy.

I pulled out my phone & it
just looked like this, I
shocked myself / superfan.
Kelly Go Lightly.
Tear in my hand.

L said, I’m not your dog &
pony show. I said, yeah
you are. Now take me
to the faire.
I wanted to write you a poem
but I thought, so not
timeless. Elle editorial
on the season’s best bralettes.

That woman, I said,
she’s wonderful.
She’s climbing the
corporate ladder.
She’s wearing the blush neon
pink of the season.
She says there’s a story
at every rung.

Oh hell, Helen. You didn’t
have to go and do that.
Die with all yr
sisters watching.
Leave your voice recorded
in a box by the phone.

I wrote a poem about the breakup,
the baby as a metaphor.
How you were adopted
& how the last time we talked
you said you just wanted
to smash your phone.

Oh hell, time.
Oh, somewhere or another.
Our feminist friendship
has been such a pleasure.
At your mother’s house.
A long black dial tone.
Bottle of cologne that M wore.
Eau de Zack Morris Cell Phone.

I stole it from you, or
you stole it from me.
I had the Saved by
the Bell soundtrack on CD.
Used to listen to “Friends Forever”
driving to take the train to the city.
Tickets were $17.50.
Museum of Radio & TV.
Museum of when D jumped onto
the tracks to get me a washer
that I wore as a ring.
When I was seventeen.
Museum of D getting
down on one knee.

& that’s what sad is.
& never get over it.
& all over the Internet.
Babies named Alice,
or Bernie or Billie.
Pulled down my panties,
found an inkblot.
Put the girl
in the now.
If she’s there.
Pull up the
antenna.