Sweating out my sickness
on the train coughing
on everyone I am just

so beautiful was my first thought
this morning before I tried
to breathe in other news I finally

like to get stoned again
after years of these teeth
feeling way too sharp

in my mouth I used to
bite things that didn’t ask
to be bitten now I walk

through the house eating chex
cereal with fucking whole milk
I look at everything

as though it’s in a museum
how the books are stacked
& rocks placed on the sill

shoes kicked off just so this
framed photo of a man & a baby
I am busy keeping everything

separate tiny glass
bowls mise en place I slice
my carrots like this

set them over here I write
my poems & take my love’s
cock but never in the same

room it disturbs the sleep
a total lie I do everything
in bed but do not

want my friends to meet
my other friends
I do not want to facilitate

anyone’s good time due
to nerves it’s hard to explain
my desire for smoothness despite

my weed-ridden stems child
screaming on the subway I swear
to god I cannot think of anything

good to contribute to this
group text right now they are
rhyming a famous poet’s name

with vegetables I made a casserole
today because I miss my youngness
the clover & switchgrass kitchen

window open relationship I am
revolutionary disrupting language
like whenever I please love

me & my vocal fry
because fuck it’s hard
to be alive here

when all the world is double-
parked & nothing is free
not even a map for staying