my school teacher asked me if I wanted
to go to Japan do something good for the Emperor
we were led to a harbor
a cargo ship a train
to a factory in Doyamaki where
Food was so scarce we pulled grass, roots anything we could eat
girls died of hunger some went crazy
I ran away was found by a Japanese soldier
Kobayashi he raped me
took me
to a hut Every evening
soldiers
countless soldiers on the wild mountainside
Kobayashi
An unusually quiet day
I found Japan had lost the war
I sailed to Korea
jumped from the crates hit my stomach with fists I was pregnant
I failed I named him Young-ju
left him at an orphanage
met him every Sunday
one Sunday
I saw another boy in his clothes
Young-ju had died of pneumonia
already buried
I thought of Kobayashi bringing me rice
in his drunken stupor I thought of the piece of steel
I took at the factory
I found some of the steel so attractive
I still believe he is alive
somewhere I want to believe
that all was just a terrible fate
But then,
But then