I came to your cabaret because I love to watch you
play. To stare until you look for me and smile
in the other direction as you sing about feelin’ good,
your hands rippling sideways, impressing your
ever-present ladies, some gentlemen, and me.
But I’m not under your spell, I’m under your piano
and there’s a condom in your pocket, socked
feet on brass pedals, a little moist, a little more
comfortable—tiny liberties already so taken
with this audience, yet you are somehow reduced
to the sweat on your hairline, the pearling tonic
and yellow lime you ask for twice, when
you want to stay sober. When you suppose
it’s show time. I don’t suppose much, that’s why
I’m the lacquer on the leg scrolls, slipping
up this body leech-like, looking for the place
the pumping goes. Fingering hammers and strings,
I need to see how we reflect in the gleaming lid
of grandeur. I want to fray metal wires with a nail file
because you wouldn’t help me learn. No need
to be nervous, now, I’m thumbing the ivory
and cupping chords, tapping clinically on every knee
because somewhere in this contraption, real contact
is happening, and I’ll circulate until I can count it.
As long as this song chases me, I’m laying groundwork,
laying traps, lying on top of you and lying
on your piano, which is worse. I emerge semi-satisfied
as always, to find you all over It’s a Wonderful World,
pounding hard. Not a slow, soft trickle, not at all
like it was meant to be played—a gold panner
getting rough with his sifter, a peasant beating
dirt out of carpet. I know it makes you crazy
I don’t care about prospects, but I sure do
appreciate flowers, and if you insist on such things
being complicated, I’ll offer my applause
to the waiter singing
the bright blessed day
the dark sacred night.
And in our encore, I’ll put my guilty grape juice
in a glass just cold enough to keep you on ice
another half hour, the time it’ll take me to leave
a perfect circle on your black surface. A golden let’s-last-
forever ring that recalls your fondest memories, and ruins
your finest instrument. Or at least its finish.